2008 - YEAR-in-REVIEW

Year in Review: 2008

2008 – Year of the Obama. The year we see gas prices soar to new disgusting heights yet we scoff at the idea of cutting our fuel bills in half by utilizing the simple idea of car-pooling. 2008 – the year we see a record number of failed mortgages and foreclosures than ever and instead of blaming our "instant gratification" generation of non-savers we blame the banks and the government for poor lending policies and easy access to huge sums of money. The year none of us has money and in many cases jobs, yet a Wal-Mart security guard is trampled to death opening a store door at 6am on Black Friday…2008 – The year people actually voted. The year we see gay rights get kicked to the curb again across the USA with no valid reason except for a few verses in the Bible that no one seems to be able to recite when asked. The year NPR news is finally happy about an election but quickly reminds us the world is burning up thanks to Hummer emissions. 2008 – The year I realized I would rather date a girl who wears flips flops than one that wears high heels. The year I fell head over heels for Zooey Deschanel. The year I had my first experience with a hemorrhoid…2008 - The year I found myself watching way too much HGTV. The year I wonder who actually buys one of those scary evil monk looking "Snugglies". The year I really started hating the fan in the stands that waves his hands in attempt to pump up the crowd…2008 – The year my mom does it again. 2008 – The year I turned 30…geez.

Anyway, no more time for serious chatter. Its time for my Top 5s for 2008…

Top 5 Goats of 2008 (Aka – morons):

5. John McCain – Some of you guys will be surprised to hear this, but I like John McCain. I like him a lot actually. I voted for him in the 2000 primary and was happy to see him live up to my early prediction and win the 2008 Republican nomination. However, with the biggest decision of his political life looming he goes out binge drinking with Dick Cheney and they conjure up the idea of nominating Sarah Palin for VP. Alcohol is the only rationale reason I can think of why a generally smart individual, such as McCain, would make such a blind, irresponsible decision. Needless to say my vote went to Barack Obama in both the primary and the election.

4. Plaxico Burress – My man carries an illegal weapon into a nightclub and then accidentally shoots himself while busting-a-move. He then compounds this by trying to hide the evidence like he is on an episode of The Sopranos. Even better, dozens of athletes immediately jump to his defense saying they need to carry guns in this crazy day and age. When was the last time you heard of an athlete fending off thugs by filling them up with lead? Exactly.

3. Eliot Spitzer – Granted that prostitute was smoking hot, but for $5000 grand a visit you best be blazing and you best be discrete. Ironically, Governor Spitzer was once a hero for his work in cleaning up the streets and being the "moral crime-buster" of the NYC. Turns out he is one of the biggest dip shits in the state.

2. John Edwards – Dude, really? You would have been the next Vice President of the United States and you decide to go get a piece on the side? Not only that, but your wife was battling cancer during your quickies at the local Red Roof Inn. Not your coworker, cousin, or aunt but your wife. Pathetic. Its amazing the country is so worried about gay Americans destroying families and morality when we have plenty of WASPs destroying homes and spitting on morality left and right (i.e. Edwards, Spitzer).

1. Thomas Ravenel – SC State Treasurer – It is known I despise pretty much every single one of our elected officials here in South Carolina and make no bones about it Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer is still my most hated politician in the history of poltics. However that being said, with the federal government charging Ravenel on crack distribution he has quickly moved into my #2 spot. Geez man, Crack? Of course, this embarrassment for South Carolina led to the best joke of the year: "You know they named the new Cooper Bridge after Arthur Ravenel….Well they also named the white lines in the middle of the road after his son…"

Top 5 Movies: Once again an overall disappointing year in movies. There are 2 movies I would love to see but typical Columbia, SC has no theatres showing them: Slumdog Millionaire and The Wrestler.

Honorable Mentions – (Movies worth the rent): In Bruges, Burn After Reading, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 3:10 to Yuma, Darjeeling Limited, Snow Angels)

5. Milk – Just saw it yesterday. Harvey Milk was a pretty incredible person that simply knew how to join people together. Good performances all around and they do a seemingly great job on sticking to the facts of this true story adaptation. Of course, I am always a sucker for Gus Van Sant movies.

4. Juno – (Yeah I know it was technically 2007). Did they use ridiculous vocabulary that few teens can spell much less use in conversation? Yes, but overall I thought it was entertaining. And if you think kids want to have a baby because of that movie then you are an idiot.

3. The Dark Knight – As me and my people predicted this time last year, this movie was incredible and I am glad the rest of you finally saw how awesome Christopher Nolan has made Batman. Ledger deserves all the glory he has received for his role as the Joker. Freaking awesome. Bale of course, once again proves why he was on my Man-Crush list in 2007.

2. Rocket Science – My teenage angst movie of the year. Great flick about a stuttering suburban kid who ends up on a debate team simply because he is in love with a girl. Terribly awkward at times but one of my favorite high school flicks in a long time. Great soundtrack too.

1. Into the Wild – Sean Penn did what I hoped he would. Tell a great coming of age story of adventure while showing the naivete of a young Chris McCandless. Emile Hirsch is the best young actor in Hollywood (Lords of Dogtown, Milk, Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys). Eddie Vedder does a great job moaning, groaning and humming throughout the movie to make a solid soundtrack. Granted I am biased because I loved the story and what this kid did, but it was my favorite movie of the year.

Top 5 Albums of the Year: Not an unbelievably great year for complete albums. A lot of good songs, but few overall great albums by dudes with killer beards.

Honorable Mentions: Blitzen Trapper – Furr, Matt Pryor – Confidence Man, The Grand Archive – The Grand Archive, Matt Pond PA - FreeEp

5. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend: Though sometimes annoying and always over-hyped the boys of Vampire Weekend know how to put out a solid debut album. Catchy, happy-go-lucky tracks that remind you being a freshman in college.

4. She and Him – Volume One: I didn’t trust Jared on this one when it came out, but once I put it in I couldn’t seem to take it out of the cd player. My girl Zooey Deschanel swoons her way through a throwback album that your mom would like. Her voice really isnt very good, in fact I have heard better at Ed Miller’s Karaoke extravaganzas in Clemson and Charelston, but I still love the sound of this album. Maybe because it takes me back to listening to Patsy Cline with my mom while we cleaned the house.

3. Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes: The year of bearded rock. This album is ridiculously good. Best vocals of any band out there. You will want to replay this album about 4 times in a row. These guys sing the "whooaa ooohhhh" better than anyone in the business. What is scary is that this album could have been even better. I hope they put out something in 2009 because I have a feeling it will be out of control.

2. Lightspeed Champion – Falling off the Lavender Bridge: I love me some Lightspeed. This is my lyrical album of the year. The young Brit pulls at the strings of your heart with practically every track he records. Very simple songs that bring every regret you have to the forefront of your mind.

1. Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago: A great album that is a classic from the first spin. Dark, melancholy, and simple. Justin Vernon’s voice is unique in a soulful kind of way. He recorded this album in a Wisconsin wood cabin and that’s exactly where it sounds like it was recorded. Put this on by a fire and your night is set.

Top 10 Songs of the Year:

10. "Torn Blue Foam Coach" – The Grand Archives: The west coast Spin-off of the Band of Horses wrote a great album and this is the class of the cd.

9. "How it Ends" – Devotchka: This Russian track came out a few years ago but they re-released it after its success on the "Gears of War" video game commercial. Great ornate haunting song.

8. "You Really Got a Hold on Me" – She and Him: One day Zooey will be singing this song to me at our rehearsal dinner.

7. "Roll On Babe" – Vetiver: Acoustic guitar – check, good chorus – check, right foot tapping – check.

6. For Emma – Bon Iver: More of an instrumental then anything with horns and all. But he throws in a few great lines in between the trumpets… "with all your lies, you’re still very lovable…"

5. "Dry Lips" – Lightspeed Champion: "Tell her, I give up, he’s won, and I have lost all humanity"…geez Dev Hynes. Great, great song.

4. "He Doesn’t Know Why" and "White Winter Hymnal" – Fleet Foxes: You will be singing along by the end of each of these songs.

3. "Lost Coastlines" – Okkervil River: Jared and Brit told me about this head-bobbing track. A coming of age song that should be in every Wes Anderson directed movie.

2. "Skinny Love" and "Flume" – Bon Iver: Just buy the album.
1. "Waiting Game" – Lightspeed Champion: This is pretty much me in a 4 minute song.

Top 5 TV Shows:

Honrable Mentions: Bones, 30 Rock, Boston Legal

5. My Boys – A show no one seems to watch even though Jim Gaffigan’s dry one liners are as good as it gets.

4. Psych – Immature? Yes, but I love it.

3. How I Met Your Mother – No matter what Jared says this show is funny. Too many times they have hit it on the head in terms of the behavior of late 20/early 30 somethings.

2. The Office – Perennial powerhouse. Like I said before, if you don’t think this show is funny then you are not American.

1. The Soup – My man Joel McHale has overtaken The Office as my favorite show. The guy is a role model for our youth.

Top 5 Guilty Pleasures:

5. Facebook: Again, I am 30 what am I doing with my life?

4. McDonald's R&B McNugget Commercial: – Maybe the best commercial on TV. "Woke up and heard you creepin' ....Girl I know your Secret...You got a ten piece, don't be stingy.." That my friend is funny.

3. HGTV – I mentioned it above that I have found myself watching a lot of HGTV in ‘08…over the past year I have learned to design on a dime and how to make my curb appealing all thanks to this cable juggernaut. When the tube is filled with re-runs and no college football then HGTV gets the nod.

2.Kernkraft 400 – "Zombie Natio": You have no idea what that band or that song is do you? Oh contrar monfrar…Guess what you do…it’s the "whoooaa whooooaa ooooohhh whooooaaa ohhhh" song played prior to every Clemson kickoff and in every other college stadium in the country….it’s a terrible song but I love it come kickoff time.

1. Jason Mraz – "I’m Yours": Combine horrible lyrics with a cheesy, yet catchy reggae beat and you have me hook, line, and sinker…damn you jason mraz…


2008 is in the books. Overall it was a good year. My mom beat cancer again. The cup was amazing eventhough it rained and one of my best friends concussed me with a full beer can to the head. A trip to Columbus, Ohio completely changed my view on the worst state in the union. Andrew Allorto had the Oyster Roast of all Oyster Roasts. And some friends got married, others engaged, while a few of us continue to buck the system.

Good Luck in 2009 and hopefully I will see you